In contrast, gay in the sense “awkward, stupid, or bad” is often used with disparaging intent and perceived as insulting to gay people. Though some have argued that this sense is independent of the “homosexual” sense, and therefore not homophobic, the argument is weakened by the fact that “homosexual” has long been the dominant meaning of gay, and thus permeates its other usages. See also homosexual.

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Don’t assume you’re gay based on how you walk, talk, or dress. You’ve probably heard stereotypes about what makes someone gay, but none of these are true. Your sexual orientation has nothing to do with your style, appearance, or how you speak. Similarly, walking or dancing a certain way doesn’t make you gay. Ignore these stereotypes when figuring out your sexual orientation.[6]

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The meaning “homosexual” for the word gay has become so prevalent that people hesitate to use the term in its original senses of “merry, lively” and “bright or showy.” But the word's association with sexuality is not new. The word gay has had various senses dealing with sexual conduct since the 17th century. A gay woman was a prostitute, a gay man a womanizer, a gay house a brothel. This sexual world included homosexuals too, and gay as an adjective meaning “homosexual” goes back at least to the late 1930s. After World War II, as social attitudes toward sexuality began to change, gay was applied openly by homosexuals to themselves, first as an adjective and later as a noun. It is no longer considered slang. Today, the noun often designates only a male homosexual and is usually used as a collective plural: gays and lesbians . Usage as a singular noun is uncommon and is sometimes perceived as insulting: He came out as a gay.

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Tell your parents politely and gently that only you can know who you are and that if they really love you they would be able to accept it. Tell them that you are just being you. Tell them that it is a gift and that you are proud of it and hope that some day they accept it. If they continue to not accept it, ask that they at least refrain from trying to tell you who you are. Go about finding supportive people among your friends.

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